AnnaLynne McCord recovered previous recollections of being sexually abused as a child whereas in therapy to deal with PTSD.
The 90210 actress mentioned she relived experiences of sexual assault relationship again to when she was 11 years previous during counselling classes.
The 32-year-old – who admitted to feeling suicidal after she was raped at 18 – revealed she didn’t really feel ‘worthy’ until somebody was ‘taking advantage of her body’.
‘A year ago, I was in treatment for PTSD and memories of child sexual abuse came back for years all the way until I was 11 years,’ AnnaLyne advised People.
She added that rising up, she believed that intercourse was the identical as love.
‘I thought I had to had sex with someone to be able to be loved. It was devastating to my soul as a human being to feel I wasn’t worthy of affection until somebody was profiting from my physique,’ the Dallas star defined.
AnnaLyne grew to become president of the anti-human trafficking charity Together1Heartwork to assist individuals who have been suicidal and ‘cutting up their arms’ like she used to.
The actress was raped when she was 18 by a pal who was staying at her Los Angeles condominium.
She shared that they stayed up late chatting on her mattress, earlier than she went to sleep and woke as much as him assaulting her.
She advised Cosmopolitan: ‘At first, I felt so disoriented and numb, I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep. I wondered if I had done something to give him the wrong idea. I felt afraid of making him angry.’
AnnaLyne, who had a boyfriend on the time, then began occupied with the potential of getting an STD or getting pregnant.
‘I mentioned, “Please, don’t!” He stopped and went within the lavatory and completed. I lay there and stared on the ceiling for the remainder of the evening, frozen,’ she recalled.
The actress acted like nothing was improper afterwards to deal with the trauma and solely advised her buddies 10 months later, after her rapist began telling their mutual buddies she was ‘in love’ with him.
‘The whole night came back to me when the guy who raped me decided that it would be a good idea to tell our whole friend group – who I didn’t see anymore as a result of I didn’t need to see him – that I used to be secretly in love with him,’ she recalled to Vogue.
She added: ‘[A close friend] was like “you’re in love with him” and he saved going and going till I lastly simply screamed “no, I’m not in love with him, he raped me.”‘
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